The Cycle of Feelings

My Dad told me once to never make decisions at night when I was tired.  Good advice.  I tried to nap and go to bed when I was feeling negative, but I still woke up just "done" today.  I haven't been sleeping really well.  Between waking up early, napping, and staying up late, I doubt that I'm truly getting the best rest.  It caught up with me today, I guess, because after lunch and a nap, I am feeling quite a bit better.  

I have to say, though, that after staying fairly positive despite continual change and uncertainty, I just didn't it in me this morning, and discouragement was really setting in.  I have to work pretty hard to stay on top of my mood.  Anxiety, depression, and a low sense of self-worth constantly try to creep in and take over.  One of the strategies I have learned to employ beside self-care is self-talk.  It is important for me to recognize that I hate transitions and change, but that I will feel much better as I become accustomed to the situation.  So, I realize that I AM adjusting to the barrage of cancellations and closings.  While my routine has been thrown into upheaval and unknowns still exist, I WILL adapt.  Meanwhile, I am uneasy and frustrated and being hungry or tired interrupts my ability to cope.  I am trying so hard to be strong, but I also need to give myself grace.  So, if you're feeling that way, too, you're not alone.  And it's going to be ok - eventually.

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Middle of the Night Musings

So, my sister, Krista and her family are moving, too.  They don't live right next door.  They live two hours away, and now they will live at least twice as far.  We have barely visited them, but they visit a lot.  I'm sad, happy, excited for them, thinking about them in practical ways......Gosh, I'm tired.....

Or maybe that's from the surgery I had almost 3 weeks ago.  Maybe I'm actually still healing and doing too much.  It was a blast being part of the surprise "prom" for sister Sarah's birthday.  Oh, and school starts August 10....in 9 days!

The new neighbors moved in yesterday.  Other people are moving out, so more new people will be here soon.  Man,  these are a lot of changes.  It's exciting, a bit nerve-wracking ....

By the way, it's 4:45 a.m.  I just got kicked out of my bed by my nine year old, so I am writing this in her partially finished room.

Why do we feel the need to constantly be in control?  You would think that by now I would have mastered the concept of relying on God.  Yet, I still consistently want to be in charge of my little section of the world.  My humanness just keeps getting in the way.  I believe, but my steps falter.  So, God knocks me down a bit and helps me get back up again.....every time.

Proverbs 16:18 

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 16:1
We can make our plans, but the final outcome is in God's hands.

Pinky in the Air

The whole family came to watch Rachel's dance class today. On the way, Rachel lamented that she didn't think she could keep her pinky in the air the whole time on the cruise, that she would be too tired. Steve and I about fell over laughing, thinking, "Oh, no! She's been worried about this since Steve jokingly told her she would have to keep her pinky up at the 'fancy' dinners on our upcoming Disney Cruise." Fortunately, the situation was quickly corrected when Steve explained to her that he had been jokingly referring to the episode of SpongeBob FancyPants.