16! Time to Celebrate!

Rachel turned 16 this week.  She got her driver's license.  She drove through Starbucks and picked up her little sister from middle school (by herself!), and I was okay with it.  She's been growing and gaining skills and wisdom in a way that is unique to adolescence but encouraging to a mama.  She's maturing.  It's good to see.  

The cool thing about this picture is that is one of many faces that Rachel
makes in this show, "The Fire Within".  She is playing marimba in
Infinity 3 this season. 

To see more, visit our "Infinity Percussion" page.

You know what else?  My kids are fun.  We laugh so hard sometimes, and we also cry.  Our kids get more "only child" time these days.  We tell them they are the "only child" when they are the only one with Steve and me.  Many days that is Justin when his classes take less time than the girls.  Often, it is Hannah as Justin and Rachel participate in percussion activities.  Sometimes, Hannah is the busy one.  This past month, Steve and I actually had a day of being "only parents" when all 3 kids had plans on a Saturday.

  

Hannah is a Junior Thespian.  Her troupe just performed Seussical Jr.
As you can see, Hannah was THING 3 and did an outstanding job
of providing comic relief during set changes.

To see more, visit our "Proud Mom Showcase" page.

I realize it's good.  It's busy.  It's a mom with older kids watching her kids live their dreams.  I am grateful.  

Ecclesiastes 3:1  To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.

Justin is finishing his 2nd year of college and is performing
on the vibraphone with Infinity this spring.  He is a very
dedicated musician and is enjoying his 4th season with
Infinity Percussion.
 
To see more, visit our "Infinity Percussion" page.

Not Ready

Hello again!

I've been meaning to write and even thought of lots of things to write about the other day.  The truth is, though, that The Vulnerable Mom is a blog about being brave.  It is about hurt and joy and experiencing life even when it feels like it might tear you apart.  So, I mostly feel compelled to write when I am struggling.

Today is one of those days.  I think I've pegged what is really bothering me.  It's a combination of my usual anxieties, letting go as my kids grow up and difficulty with transition.  I think that, quite frankly, as much as I thought I was, I wasn't ready for my daughter to go to high school.  

There is so much change in those four years, and having a son just finishing them and then going back is much like starting a new school year, teaching the same grade, and realizing that your class is composed of "babies" of that grade rather than "graduates".  It requires a change in expectation and is different because this time, you know where those babies are going to end up.  

Here's the exception, though.  Every kid is different.  My oldest is a boy;  my middle is a girl.  They have unique personalities and talents, even when approaching similar tasks.  They want and need different things at different times.  Kids don't come with an instruction manual.  You write it as you go along.  As with products, different, but comparable models are developed, and features are added and deleted as times change and techniques are proven effective or ineffective.  So goes life.  As soon as you think you've figured it all out, you're thrown a curveball.  Of course, what these really are are challenges and lessons, ways to help us grow.  Sometimes, I get tired of growing!!!

So, as much as I think my daughter is ready for high school, a part of me is grieving.  I know that in these four short years, she will (rightfully so) prepare to be an adult.  She will be busier and have social circles (and boyfriends - Ouch!  I think I just died a little, lol)  that quite frankly will be more important to her than we are.  That is natural.  I am glad for her.  I want that for her.  But it is really, really hard on my mama's heart.  I want more time.  

Thanks for listening.  I hope that my jumbled post actually describes what I was trying to say and that will help even one person struggling to know that they are not alone. 

Hugs!

Jenny 

Isaiah 64:8  ESV

"But now, O Lord, you are our Father;  we are the clay, and You are our potter;  we are all the work of Your hand."  

Father God,

Thank you for giving me the gift of writing.  Thank you for the people that I might bless and encourage BECAUSE I have had to struggle.  Help me to be brave and to continue Your works no matter how hard it seems.  Hold my mama's heart, and draw me closer to You as I learn to more closely resemble You who created me.  Give me confidence, and guide me in my next steps.  Thank you that I can hold on to this promise from Your Word.  "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

P.S.  Just writing this helped me finally express what has been deep inside for a while now.  I always tell myself to "give it two weeks, and everything will be fine".  School started August 10.  I took a job substitute teaching at the tail end of the first two weeks and then was sick and an emotional wreck (for practically no reason - ever feel that way?) the whole weekend, so rested that week before we watched my very active and awesome 7 and 8 year old nephews for 4 nights and 5 days starting that Saturday.  By then, it was almost labor day weekend, and I decided that with a four day week, next week (a full week) would be my do-over for that "give it two weeks" theory.  We'll see.  I might really need until Christmas.  

I'll see you in heaven......

Well, it seems that another influential person of my past has joined Jesus in heaven far too young and far too tragically.  If we are to be truthful, all of us are here for a season, and God has planned out and numbered each of our days.  His perfection is not limited by our imperfection.  Pastor Orlando Rivera was killed in a car accident early morning on Memorial Day.  He was only 52 and left behind a large family and legacy.  I haven't seen him in a very long time, but in coming upon his picture, his friendly and caring personality came right back to me.  He was a pastor at my church during an influential time in my life.  I don't remember how long he was there, but know it was in high school and beyond.   
I remember seeing him working in a Chick-Fil-A sometime when my children were young.  I believe he was a pastor for another church at that time.  It was probably the last time I saw him.  I remember that he and his wife were the first interracial couple that I ever knew.  I think that they moved to the Parramore area to live in a neighborhood that was scary to be near but desperately needed to experience God's love.  I think that many, if not all, of their many children are adopted.  I could be wrong as it's been a long time, but I find it interesting that seeing a photograph of his smiling face brings back the dynamic and inclusive person that he was.  I pray for his family, not because they can't survive, for I am certain that their strength comes from the Lord.  I pray because it is hard to lose someone, but even harder to not be able to say goodbye.  It is a very real fear of mine.

I am thankful to have known these people that now wait for me in heaven......Grandpa and Grandma Carlson, Grandpa Lehn, Ava, Isaac, Chad, Grandma Lehn, Angie's Dad, and now Orlando.  I also found out that two very special friends of mine that stuck with me through the toddler and preschool years with my oldest, have both lost their husbands.  One friend was happily married and lost her husband very quickly to brain cancer.  The other friend had remarried, but has two daughters who lost their father instantly (I believe also in a wrong way collision, like Orlando).  

Unbelievable.  It is amazing to me how many have died so young.  I find it comforting to think that we are developing a personal distributed church in heaven.  Hold on to your faith, for it truly is the only constant that you will ever have.  I write without revision, because the sadness is fresh and the shock is real.  Even while God has protected me personally by distancing me through the years from those that have been taken away, others have not been so lucky.  Maybe they are just in a different place, though, with different strengths and different things to learn.  

Caring is hard no matter what.  Being vulnerable enough to love results in great joy AND great pain.  Bravo to those that keep their eyes fixed on Jesus and are willing to risk loving.  

Matthew 5:4. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

Go in HIS peace........

Moving On

I'm just sad....Our neighbors of the last 11 years are moving.  My 9 year old has grown up with their family - 8 year old girl and 5 and 1 year old boys.  They have seen our son go from a first grader to a senior in high school.  Our 13 year old was two when they moved in.  They are our family in Christ. 




Good neighbors provide a unique opportunity to be spontaneous in our interactions and to minister to one another in very practical ways.  We watch out for each other, borrow when needed, offer encouragement and advice, and in the case of close neighbors, share each others' burdens.  This has been so true as the McCutchens have shared their lives and lived next door. 




To maintain a relationship, we will now need to make a much bigger effort and commitment.  We can't just look out the window or over the fence anymore.  It's an ending and a beginning. 




What will happen?  I don't really know.  I am especially sad for our youngest.  It is yet another time that my heart breaks for my child, and I have to feel so much more than is comfortable.  Meanwhile, school starts in less than two weeks.  My "children" will be in 4th, 8th, and 12th grades this year.  I thought I had more time...........treasure the moments.




...........Yet, we continue to trust and recognize God's hand in all of this (whether we want to admit it or not), because we know that He is in control and wants the very best for us.


Ecclesiastes 3:1-8




To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;  a time to plant, and time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;  a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;  a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;  a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;  a time to keep, and time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;  a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;  a time of war, and a time of peace.

Pinterest Picks: Palm Sunday to Easter

Can you put the events in order from Palm Sunday to Easter?

Thanks, SundaySchoolKids.com!

This arrangement of cups in the shape of a cross opens up a world of possible game variations for young and old alike.  Thanks for this cute idea, mamabeefromthehive.blogspot.com.au! 




Retell the Easter story!  Thanks to 1plus1plus1equals1.net for this fun how-to using resources from mywonderstudio.com!

Simple and sweet, this handprint craft symbolizes the hope we have from the cross.  Thanks to sassydealz.com for this cute idea presented in detail by craftymorning.com!

He is Risen!  One of my personal favorites, this tasty object lesson is easy to make and powerful in its message.  Thank you sweethomeclubmom.blogspot.com for instructions!



Available at EggloEntertainment.com

Thanks to MeaningfulMama.com for this cute idea !

For a free printable of this Easter story wreath, visit WeeLittleMiracles.com.

Here's another color poem relating jelly bean colors to the story of Easter.  Attach to a bag of jelly beans for a sweet treat for neighbors and friends.
Thanks, RachelWojo.com!