Psalms

I feel like I think the psalmist felt when they cried out in anguish to God.  I feel broken and I'm so scared of death.  It will be better in the morning, at least after a while.  But, for now, my heart just hurts......

Grief, Loss, Regret: That Punch in the Gut Moment

I had one of those "punch in the gut" moments last night where all of a sudden it entered my consciousness that my Grandma was really dead.  For me, this is a normal part of the grieving process.  I will start to have more and more normal life moments and less and less sadness.  Then, all of a sudden, POW!  It hits you like a ton of bricks that the loss isn't a dream, but reality.  The bad situation is in fact one you have to deal with.  The regret is real. 

A simple thing might trigger the thought process, an association or memory.  Sometimes, it is anticipating an event and realizing that a loved one won't be there or a hope for someone isn't going to happen.  Life has changed, and even though you knew it all along, the sudden reminder is startling. 

Then, life picks up again and the grief takes a backseat to the busyness.  It's always there, though.  The memories fade, but they don't disappear.  They are too important.  The pain lessens......until the next punch. 

Psalm 28:1-2, 6-8

To you I call, O Lord my Rock;  do not turn a deaf ear to me.  For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit.  Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help, as I lift up my hands toward your Most Holy Place. 

Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.  The Lord is my strength and my shield;  my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.  My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.  The Lord is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.