I am very guilty of this, and I seriously doubt that there is anyone who is not. Why? Because we are inherently sinful and self-centered. AND.....because we are MADE for relationships. The war within us rages like a tug-of-war between a single, solitary focus on personal survival and the desire and need to connect with those around us.
How then do we achieve a balance between the preservation of self and the interdependence necessary for a fulfilling existence? I am convinced that the solution is simple in theory but complex in execution. The answer lies at the root of metaphors told time and again. Perhaps, Tom Rath tells it best in his book, “How Full Is Your Bucket For Kids”. The basic concept is that everyone has a bucket that when filled allows us to be our best because we feel our best. Our emotional needs have been met. On the other hand, a depleted bucket represents the heart of a person who has had all of their positive self-worth taken away one dipperful after another and never has been refilled.
We don’t even realize that we need to be filled in order to be fulfilled. In other words, everyone NEEDS validation -again and again. They NEED to be told what they are doing right, that they are noticed, and that their contributions MATTER. It is IMPERATIVE that we are purposeful in building each other up as well as refraining from tearing each other down, because what has been proven again and again is that when we feel better, we act better.
The bottom line is that we THINK that everybody else has it all together, but really, they don’t. If we start to look outside our own frustrations and problems, we will start to notice that others DO need our encouragement, and in that, WE will be encouraged.
Be intentional about celebrating others. You probably are making more of a difference than you will ever know.
