Reset

"I never have any time...."

"I really could use a vacation..."

"I think we're doing too much...."

"I don't know how to say no....."

"There's never enough hours in a day....."

STOP. Pause. Rest. Reset.

"Restart the computer....."

"You'll have to wipe your phone....."

"It stopped us in our tracks and forced us to slow down."

"I wasn't expecting this....."

"Take 2..."

"Return to factory default....."

RESET

I've can't believe that I haven't published a post since May 2.  It's been hard, though, to speak in a world that is so united and divided all at the same time.  In reality, most people have the same goals and desires.  They have the same fears and frustrations.  They are affected more or less personally and responding in kind.  But, instead of listening to the "other side", there seems to be a mentality that it's "all or nothing" with certain subjects.  And that's not okay.  

Everyone has differences.  It's what makes the world work.  I have had experiences and am in situations that you are not (and vice-versa).  What works for me or is within my current scope of understanding may or may not be like anything you have ever seen.  Can we share information with each other?  Sure, but we must also listen to each other.  It gives us a broader perspective to apply to all future encounters.  And if we can't - REST, stay silent, step away, and only then - RESET.

I'm terribly frustrated with the uncertainty of the near future.  It's truly driving me crazy.  I can't stand the inconsistency and the pettyness.  It's not an easy time - for ANYONE.  So, if you get frustrated or just plain "lose it", you're not alone.  Me, too.  

Validated

I think that one of the things that we struggle with the most as people is our need for validation.  As individuals, we have been created uniquely, for specific purposes.  Yet, we constantly compare ourselves to each other and feel that either we are falling short, or that we must compete to prove our worth.  Instead of accepting that we need other people and they need us, we fight against the very idea and allow hatred and jealousy to breed in our hearts.

I am very guilty of this, and I seriously doubt that there is anyone who is not.  Why?  Because we are inherently sinful and self-centered.   AND.....because we are MADE for relationships.  The war within us rages like a tug-of-war between a single, solitary focus on personal survival and the desire and need to connect with those around us.

How then do we achieve a balance between the preservation of self and the interdependence necessary for  a fulfilling existence?  I am convinced that the solution is simple in theory but complex in execution.  The answer lies at the root of metaphors told time and again.  Perhaps, Tom Rath tells it best in his book, “How Full Is Your Bucket For Kids”.  The basic concept is that everyone has a bucket that when filled allows us to be our best because we feel our best.  Our emotional needs have been met.  On the other hand, a depleted bucket represents the heart of a person who has had all of their positive self-worth taken away one dipperful after another and never has been refilled.

We don’t even realize that we need to be filled in order to be fulfilled.  In other words, everyone NEEDS validation -again and again.  They NEED to be told what they are doing right, that they are noticed, and that their contributions MATTER.  It is IMPERATIVE that we are purposeful in building each other up as well as refraining from tearing each other down, because what has been proven again and again is that when we feel better, we act better.

The bottom line is that we THINK that everybody else has it all together, but really, they don’t.  If  we start to look outside our own frustrations and problems, we will start to notice that others DO need our encouragement, and in that, WE will be encouraged.

Be intentional about celebrating others.  You probably are making more of a difference than you will ever know.

Moving On

I'm just sad....Our neighbors of the last 11 years are moving.  My 9 year old has grown up with their family - 8 year old girl and 5 and 1 year old boys.  They have seen our son go from a first grader to a senior in high school.  Our 13 year old was two when they moved in.  They are our family in Christ. 




Good neighbors provide a unique opportunity to be spontaneous in our interactions and to minister to one another in very practical ways.  We watch out for each other, borrow when needed, offer encouragement and advice, and in the case of close neighbors, share each others' burdens.  This has been so true as the McCutchens have shared their lives and lived next door. 




To maintain a relationship, we will now need to make a much bigger effort and commitment.  We can't just look out the window or over the fence anymore.  It's an ending and a beginning. 




What will happen?  I don't really know.  I am especially sad for our youngest.  It is yet another time that my heart breaks for my child, and I have to feel so much more than is comfortable.  Meanwhile, school starts in less than two weeks.  My "children" will be in 4th, 8th, and 12th grades this year.  I thought I had more time...........treasure the moments.




...........Yet, we continue to trust and recognize God's hand in all of this (whether we want to admit it or not), because we know that He is in control and wants the very best for us.


Ecclesiastes 3:1-8




To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;  a time to plant, and time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;  a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;  a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;  a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;  a time to keep, and time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;  a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;  a time of war, and a time of peace.

Have you ever said, "I just can't do this anymore!!!" ?

At our house a common phrase uttered by my husband and I (in thought and voice) is "I just can't do this anymore!!!". 


I remember a particular annoying phase my kids went through when they were young - pouring water on the floor.  They would go over to the refrigerator dispenser (at the time, ours didn't lock), fill a cup and pour it on the floor.  About two weeks later when I was at the end of my rope, the phase just ended.  I always remind myself that most aggravating phases last no more than two weeks.

Of course, my children are older now, but I still think that the roller coaster of hormones and emotions follows a similar pattern.  About when I think, "I just can't do this anymore!!!", the course will change and our relationships and behaviors as a family improve.  God is good!

"I can do all things through Him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:13