Looking Back

I haven’t written in quite a while for a couple of reasons.  I’ve diverted my attention elsewhere (mostly crafting and visiting Dollar Tree 😂)) and haven’t really known what to say.  It is a very stressful and divisive time in our world, a time with a lot of lose-lose situations.  I find that as I have analyzed and  evaluated various decisions and opinions that sometimes both “sides” are right AND both “sides” are wrong.  People like to believe that their way is the only way, but the reality so many times isn’t even in the middle.  It’s just not there.  We live in an imperfect world and are imperfect people, but this year seems even harder.  It has clearly pointed out that we are all coming from unique places, yet fighting common battles.  It is hard for us to listen to each other and see “all sides of the coin”.  When we do, we realize that little is “black and white”.  There is always something else to consider, and oftentimes that means that there is never truly a “right” way.

My niece asked a very wise and innocent question of my sister recently.  She wondered, “Mom, what’s the least important job?”  Sarah couldn’t really come up with an answer, and neither could I the next day.  It’s an interesting question, I realized, because one, it depends on what you value and like, and two, every job in some way contributes to the livelihood of other jobs.  So, if posed as a personal question that affects your life, you might be able to answer this thought provoking question, but if phrased as this eight year old did, the answer is “none”.

So, if you’ve made it this far, I’ll tell you the real reason I started to write tonight.  My oldest child will be 21 tomorrow.  Unbelievable.  This weekend, an amazing thing happened.  My husband happened to have a  VCR arrive at the house.  He’s been wanting to find one for a while so that he could watch his senior video from high school.  Ironically, he had finally just obtained one, and pulled out one of the other few videocassettes still in our possession - Justin’s first and second birthdays.  Wow, almost exactly 20 (and 19) years ago to the day.  My “baby boy” right before my eyes again.  My mother’s heart is so full.  💜

Blessings,

Jenny

Thrown In The Deep End

Advancements in technology and industry are generally designed to do one of two things:  provide a higher quality or more pleasing product or improve efficiency.  Dare I say that I am awfully tired and disorganized considering how much time I am supposed to be saving with the plethora of technological developments over the last 20 years?

This period of time dubbed "the pandemic", "2020", "these unprecedented times", etc..., has resulted in polar levels of activity.  For many, we had to slow down and almost stop.  Life was cancelled.  But for others, there was much work to do in order to "beat the coronavirus" and create a "new normal".  

For me, this life interruption has been frustrating and refreshing at the same time.  I've gotten used to a slower pace and less commitments, so forgive me if I tell you that I am somewhat pretending that there really is no school.  I figure if I can't do the fun stuff, I shouldn't have to deal with the chaos of the not-so-fun stuff.  I obviously know better, but it has been a good coping mechanism thus far.  

Being that my first-born came into this world before a new millenium, I actually have memories as a mother of a time that was much less complicated.  I literally remember my husband pointing out an early version of a digital camera on the tram at Disney and thinking, "What?".  I think Justin was about 3.  We still had VHS (which of course were new to households when I was a child), high-speed internet was still up-and-coming, and the IPod was just starting to replace the Walkman.  Life was so much more advanced than the previous 20 years, and so "ancient" compared to now.

This week, I (while still gladly embracing most of it) am ready to throw it all against the wall.  I am so tired of a gazillion passwords and "not really single sign-on" portals.  While I appreciate the communication, I feel inundated with the repeated texts, phone calls, and emails.  I keep forgetting what the next lesson in my daughter's virtual class is about, and there's no book to pick up and flip through!  Just click, password, click, etc...  And do NOT even get me started on two-factor authentication!  I appreciate the extra efforts at security, but what a pain in the neck......

And since I've gotten started.......let's talk social media and news.  Like all technology, these tools can be real gifts.  I never would be able to talk to all of you or find my high school friends or feel like my sister is just minutes away.  But, as they say, you can have too much of a good thing.  It's easy to get overwhelmed with constant input and new information.  Talk about sensory overload!

Truly, as much as the internet has brought us closer together, it also has driven us further apart.  "We" ignore each other, and "we" are MEAN and argumentative behind our keyboards.  That part of it is really disturbing.  

Technology serves us well much of the time, but like us, it is constantly evolving and changing.  I guess that's what makes it so frustrating sometimes.  There's been a lot to adapt to in the last few months, and  my husband and I  are constantly talking about it.  We wonder what changes from this period in history will stick.  Will there always be masks, standing spots, enhanced cleaning protocols, and lowered capacities?  How long will it last?

I always answer this:  in the long run, people will keep what adds value, what makes life easier or more efficient but doesn't add so much cost or aggravation that the feasability of it fizzles.  Like most decisions, it comes down to risks vs. rewards.  We will not be able to be idealistic about it;  we will have to make choices.  But, we will move forward.  We may disagree about which direction to take or choices to make, but the reality is that every positive has a negative, and every negative has a positive.  It's all in how you want to look at it.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;  A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;  A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;  A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;  A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

10 Ways to Keep Kids Busy at Home

1. An obstacle course is a versatile and potentially cheap way to keep kids of all ages occupied.  It can be modified for different skill levels, promotes gross motor skills, and can be indoors and outdoors.

2. Bubbles delight kids of all ages.  Even an infant, can practice tracking as he follows them with his eyes.  Trying to catch bubbles promotes hand-eye coordination and exercise of the pincer grasp.  Bubbles can be created with everyday items in a multitude of ways and are a great avenue for experimentation.  For instance, bubbles can not only be be tiny or gigantic, but even scented!

3. Making puppets encourages creativity and builds fine motor skills.  Kids can then use the puppets for storytelling, which boosts language and can be a way to facilitate social skills learning.

 


4. Make a blanket fort.  Yes, this is what you used to do as a kid, and yes, it is still fun!  Forts are adventurous and provide a quiet space for reading, playing, and resting.  The best part - you already have everything you need right at home!

Pinterest Pick!

5. Keeping the balloon (or balloons!) in the air is just plain fun!  It also encourages hand-eye coordination and can be a super team-building activity.  As simple as blowing up one balloon or as complex as creating "racquets" or using a sheet or parachute, balloons are enticing to toddlers and reluctant teens alike.  (Make sure any broken pieces are thrown away!)

6. "Free art" is simply setting out art supplies and letting kids make whatever they want.  Many kids don't like preplanned crafts, and even those who do appreciate time to invent and draw.  This is a great activity to do with your kids and works best when you resist the urge to "help" - unless a meltdown is imminent, of course!  

 

 

7.  Hide-and-Seek is a classic, sure to bring out the giggles in its participants.  Played individually or in pairs, it offers a good opportunity to practice helping, problem-solving, and self-control.  

8.  Playing “store” or “restaurant” might require some imagination, but it is a well-loved pastime that is adaptable to different skill levels and attention spans.  From cooking and a specially designed menu to following the random instructions of a 2 year old, creativity is the goal at play. 

           

9. Freeze dance uses the power of music and movement to foster expression, confidence, and good listening skills.  It can even be done in the car to distract kids from the inevitable bickering!

                                                             

10. Follow the leader can be done anywhere, anytime, and allows for confidence building and leadership development, creativity, and practice taking turns.  It is a great distraction method to help kids refocus.

                                             

Reset

"I never have any time...."

"I really could use a vacation..."

"I think we're doing too much...."

"I don't know how to say no....."

"There's never enough hours in a day....."

STOP. Pause. Rest. Reset.

"Restart the computer....."

"You'll have to wipe your phone....."

"It stopped us in our tracks and forced us to slow down."

"I wasn't expecting this....."

"Take 2..."

"Return to factory default....."

RESET

I've can't believe that I haven't published a post since May 2.  It's been hard, though, to speak in a world that is so united and divided all at the same time.  In reality, most people have the same goals and desires.  They have the same fears and frustrations.  They are affected more or less personally and responding in kind.  But, instead of listening to the "other side", there seems to be a mentality that it's "all or nothing" with certain subjects.  And that's not okay.  

Everyone has differences.  It's what makes the world work.  I have had experiences and am in situations that you are not (and vice-versa).  What works for me or is within my current scope of understanding may or may not be like anything you have ever seen.  Can we share information with each other?  Sure, but we must also listen to each other.  It gives us a broader perspective to apply to all future encounters.  And if we can't - REST, stay silent, step away, and only then - RESET.

I'm terribly frustrated with the uncertainty of the near future.  It's truly driving me crazy.  I can't stand the inconsistency and the pettyness.  It's not an easy time - for ANYONE.  So, if you get frustrated or just plain "lose it", you're not alone.  Me, too.  

Everyone Has A Different Story.....Coping With The Coronavirus Pandemic

WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME BOAT ...

I heard that we are all in the same boat, but it's not like that. We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat. Your ship could be shipwrecked and mine might not be. Or vice versa.

For some, quarantine is optimal. A moment of reflection, of re-connection, easy in flip flops, with a cocktail or coffee. For others, this is a desperate financial & family crisis.

For some that live alone they're facing endless loneliness. While for others it is peace, rest & time with their mother, father, sons & daughters.

With the $600 weekly increase in unemployment some are bringing in more money to their households than they were working. Others are working more hours for less money due to pay cuts or loss in sales.

Some families of 4 just received $3400 from the stimulus while other families of 4 saw $0.

Some were concerned about getting a certain candy for Easter while others were concerned if there would be enough bread, milk and eggs for the weekend.

Some want to go back to work because they don't qualify for unemployment and are running out of money. Others want to kill those who break the quarantine.

Some are home spending 2-3 hours/day helping their child with online schooling while others are spending 2-3 hours/day to educate their children on top of a 10-12 hour workday.

Some have experienced the near death of the virus, some have already lost someone from it and some are not sure if their loved ones are going to make it. Others don't believe this is a big deal.

Some have faith in God and expect miracles during this 2020. Others say the worst is yet to come.

So, friends, we are not in the same boat. We are going through a time when our perceptions and needs are completely different.

Each of us will emerge, in our own way, from this storm. It is very important to see beyond what is seen at first glance. Not just looking, actually seeing.

We are all on different ships during this storm experiencing a very different journey.

Unknown author

There is a poem circulating on social media explaining that "we're all in the same storm, but we're not all in the same boat".  That's a pretty good metaphor for all of life really.  In my house, we are lucky to have health, no missing of monumental milestones (like graduation), and a job where we already had Dad at home all the time.  So, yes, we are grateful for that and recognize our blessings.  But, we have had disappointments and life interruptions - an indoor percussion season that got suddenly cut short for my oldest two, resulting in the loss of time with friends, competition, and two road trips;  friends being kept inside instead of hanging out with my youngest;  a school day that is entirely online instead of cooking in Culinary, teaching lessons in a real life preschool, learning new percussion techniques, performing concerts, auditioning for the fall marching season, and giving performances in theater and Junior Thespians; the first summer performing and traveling with friends that share and understand your passion for music and spur you on to greater things - all ripped away.

Your story is different, but you too have things that are unexpected blessings and things that you've lost.  It's a surreal time that feels like a sweet dream or nightmare at any given moment.  It's made harder, because it has become increasingly polarized, yet is still confusing and unknown.  We all have lots of theories, but really, we just have a lot of questions.  That uncertainty is frustrating.

So, we take it day by day, and hope for the best.  But, I get anxious as talk of change takes place with no definitive plan or timeline.  I wish for my children to have normalcy, because this next school year will only come once for them.  Rachel will only have one junior year of high school;  Hannah will only be in 7th grade once.  Plans for marching season start before this school year even ends.  Will band camp happen?  Will there be anything to do over the summer?  Time will soon tell, but I've got to tell you, I'm tired of the uncertainty.  I love having my kids home all the time, but I hate that they are being robbed of things that are important to them.  I miss having other kids over and seeing my kids perform.  The lack of "schedule stress" is great, but it comes at a price.  That's part of my story.

What is your story?  My friend coined the term, "Covid-Joy", and shares her covid-joys with us on Facebook and Instagram.  That friend is one of the most positive people I know, and her choice to share her joy is a ministry that blesses thousands. 

So, what is your covid-joy?  One of mine was having my son really tune in to me when I was having an especially tough weekend, frustrated with the constant negativity of news.  He sent me John Krasinski's "Some Good News" broadcast, and it made my day.  John decided to continue his broadcast and even has thrown a virtual prom.  You can check out his YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOe_y6KKvS3PdIfb9q9pGug

And, it's okay to be frustrated, angry even.  It doesn't mean that you don't care about people or all the families that have lost loved ones.  I think it almost means the opposite, that we were made for relationships.

Happy Easter!

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, MaryMagdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.

and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?"

They found the stone rolled away from the tomb,




but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.

There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it.

His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow.

The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead?

The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified.He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.

Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples.

At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

He asked her, "Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?" Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."

Jesus said to her, "Mary." She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, "Rabboni!" (which means "Teacher").

Matthew 28:1-10, Mark 16:1-8, Luke 24:1-12, John 20:1-9

He's Alive Coloring Book

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and Change

One of the most difficult things for someone with sensory issues is change.  The reason for that lies in the fact that familiarity is safe.  The goal of our neurological system is to keep our bodies in a place where we feel “just right”. Jean Ayres, an occupational therapist, first coins this phrase, claiming that the best therapy will be somewhere between too easy and too difficult.  At home, a "sensory diet" is prescribed, suggesting activities that will challenge without overwhelming.   

To accomplish this "just right", we (all of us) are constantly making adjustments to our environment.  We might avoid spicy foods or back away from a hot stove.  We might crave something salty or sweet or cover our ears when it is too noisy.  Shifting our weight to balance or holding our pencil a certain way all help us to maintain consistency in our body. 

When faced with an unknown, we have to process all kinds of new information.  For many people, this is relatively easy, but for others, the wealth of new input is overwhelming.  In familiar situations, a person with sensory processing disorder (and all of us on some level) has developed coping mechanisms over time.  They know where the quiet places are, what foods they will want to eat (or to eat ahead of time or bring a snack), what clothes are most comfortable, who will hug them or give them space, how long they are expected to sit in a chair and how much energy will be required to complete tasks.  They can plan and also relax as tasks become easier with practice.

Transitions mess all of that up.  For a person with sensory processing problems that has gotten to a comfortable, "just right" place, a change is like an alarm clock going off when you are fast asleep.  It is jarring, jolts you, and puts you into a panic.  That panicky feeling is your body's protection system, the very basis of your survival.  We know it as "fight or flight".  

Pretend that instead of a blaring alarm clock, you were given cues to tell your body to slowly wake up.  Maybe the curtains are slightly opened or soft music is playing.  Perhaps, someone is whispering your name and then speaking louder in regular intervals.  It would hopefully help to eliminate the shock of sleep suddenly interrupted.  Transitional cues and routines help those with SPD in the same way.  

If surviving in daily life is hard without routine, warnings, and predictability, imagine how difficult changes in that routine are.  School starts for the year while summer stops and vice versa.  Daylight Savings Time begins or ends.  It is a holiday or special event.  Favorite places are closed or menus change.  Eventually, all of these changes and transitions become the "new normal", but in the meantime, and to varying degrees those with sensory processing issues suffer.  They no longer feel "just right".

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) affects people with lots of different diagnoses, particularly those on the autism spectrum.  However, it can also occur all by itself.  It is almost harder that way.  It is invisible to others except for the resulting "behaviors" that they can see.  And that often results in judgments of "weird", "odd", "brat", "problem child/student", "distant", etc....Yes, the behaviors are difficult and probably need intervention, but they are not defiance.  Watch, observe, and see what you see.  You might find you are now looking with a different lens.

The Cycle of Feelings

My Dad told me once to never make decisions at night when I was tired.  Good advice.  I tried to nap and go to bed when I was feeling negative, but I still woke up just "done" today.  I haven't been sleeping really well.  Between waking up early, napping, and staying up late, I doubt that I'm truly getting the best rest.  It caught up with me today, I guess, because after lunch and a nap, I am feeling quite a bit better.  

I have to say, though, that after staying fairly positive despite continual change and uncertainty, I just didn't it in me this morning, and discouragement was really setting in.  I have to work pretty hard to stay on top of my mood.  Anxiety, depression, and a low sense of self-worth constantly try to creep in and take over.  One of the strategies I have learned to employ beside self-care is self-talk.  It is important for me to recognize that I hate transitions and change, but that I will feel much better as I become accustomed to the situation.  So, I realize that I AM adjusting to the barrage of cancellations and closings.  While my routine has been thrown into upheaval and unknowns still exist, I WILL adapt.  Meanwhile, I am uneasy and frustrated and being hungry or tired interrupts my ability to cope.  I am trying so hard to be strong, but I also need to give myself grace.  So, if you're feeling that way, too, you're not alone.  And it's going to be ok - eventually.

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

We're Calling It #AlliesBigAdventure

3/17/2020

Stuck!  Why isn’t this ship docking?

My family has been receiving updates for the last two days from my sister who is stuck on the Celebrity Eclipse in the waters off San Antonio, Chile. This evening, the passengers were officially denied access, and the ship will now move on to refuel, restock, and sail to San Diego to fly home from there. As this was the end of a 2 week cruise, adding 2 days of negotiations and 10 days of additional sail time will turn this into a nearly month-long adventure. Guess she’s getting her money’s worth.

3/18/2020

Incoming

Allie is our littlest sister.  She's the one stuck on the cruise ship.  The rest of us are stuck at home.  Not sure who has it worse, lol.  

Apparently, after being denied access to Chile Monday evening, the ship headed  to Valparaiso about 4 hours away to refuel and get provisions.  This was expected to take about 24 hours.  

Yesterday, around noon, they were in Valparaiso, and we all joked that her overpacking had paid off.  She was in good spirits, working from the ship, despite a slow internet connection.  

Just before 7 pm EST (Tuesday evening), Allie reported that the supplies were back in San Antonio (the original port) clearing customs.  Good grief!  Another night anchored.

Then, this morning, Allie sent the above picture with the caption, "Incoming".  Since the Eclipse wasn't able to dock to get them, all of the supplies were being brought in one boatload at a time.  Anticipated departure is tomorrow morning.  Dad calls it #AlliesBigAdventure.

Stay tuned!

3/20/20

Finally On Their Way

Valparaiso

Allie’s been working a lot so her coworkers don’t get left with all her assignments.  She’d probably be working remotely anyway, so I guess she might as well enjoy the fresh air!

The general mood on the cruise is positive, and passengers report being treated very well by the ship’s crew.  Activities, entertainment, food, and drink are being provided, and even crew that were supposed to be ending a contract and returning home are working tirelessly to maintain a quality guest experience.  A few are keeping to their rooms, and of course, at least one or two are very frustrated with not being able to be home to run their business and take care of their responsibilities.  Captain Leo is especially well-liked and has been consistently communicating with guests and crew alike

The final items to the be loaded at Valparaiso were requested medications, such as insulin, to support the additional days at sea.  Even, contact lens solution has reportedly been restocked in the onboard shop.  After 5 long days of deliberations, refueling, and replenishing of supplies, the voyage to San Diego was underway late Thursday night.  Estimated arrival is March 30.

Captain Leo

Having Fun On Deck

3/21/2020
Recognition of Healthcare Workers

Allie's hasn't reported in yet today, but fellow passengers shared that the Eclipse saluted healthcare workers with one minute of applause this afternoon on deck.  Another photo shows the journey they are undertaking from Chile to San Diego, California.

3/23/2020

Still working, enjoying nature

Week 2 of working from the ship.  Food is still as good as ever, but Allie says she has been eating too much and is cutting back.  Apparently, there were pods of dolphins swimming alongside the Eclipse and the sunsets are gorgeous!

3/27/2020

Preparing for home

The Celebrity Eclipse is scheduled to dock in San Diego the morning of March 30th!  The staff and crew are still giving their passengers the royal treatment whether that be in the spa, dining room, or theater.  Also, they are busy arranging flights home for all passengers and will be transporting them directly to the airport in buses.  Passengers that do not have clearance to disembark in the United States will be taken to Puerto Vallarta afterwards.  Life onboard hasn’t been boring.  No one is sequestered although some, like Allie, are spending most of their time in their room.  Allie normally works 50+ hours a week, so she has been busy.  

3/31/2020

Home at Last

They finally made it! The ship docked early morning in San Diego, and passengers were allowed to disembark based on their flight time. Allie and all of her crew have arrived home safely, and are thrilled to be back, safe and sound.

Many thanks to Celebrity Cruises for taking a tough and unplanned situation and turning it into a positive journey. You did not stop advocating for your passengers and continued to provide top-notch service even when your crew was exhausted and your company was taking a major financial hit. Your communication and commitment have set a great example for others to follow.

#celebrity #cruise #coronavirus #sandiego #celebrityeclipse #chile #deniedaccess #extralongvacation #workingfromtheship #negotiations #thevulnerablemom #thevulnerablemomblog #justkeepsailing #southamerica #californiabound #travel #vacation#AlliesBigAdventure