Thanksgiving - Choosing Blessings in the Unexpected

Sorry it took me so long to update, but these surgeries have kicked my butt.  Note that I said "surgeries", as in more than one.  So, the quick laparoscopic, probably 3 days in the hospital surgery was done on October 18th.  My ascending colon (and that pesky cancer) was removed, and later found out the fantastic, awesome, amazing, terrific news that out of 25 lymph nodes removed, NOT ONE had any cancer involvement.

For the twist, I was told this news to cheer me up as I had to go back into the operating room on the 22nd to figure out what ultimately was a small leak in the join and required a midline incision and ileostomy.  Finally, that wound became infected, so is taking a bit longer to heal.

So, after two weeks in the hospital, I have been home for 15 days.  I am still majorly down for the count, but recovering more each day and so grateful for victory over cancer.  God has said yes, no, maybe, wait, and watch, and I am both patient and intensely frustrated with those answers.  But, overall, I am in a good place and forever aware and grateful for the abundance of love and support I continue to be shown.

So, I know that we don't always get what we expect, don't know what to expect or get what we want. And quite frankly, we aren't always guaranteed to want what we thought we wanted.  So, I encourage you this week to think about what it must have been like for two groups of people, the Pilgrims and the Indians (Native Americans), to have their lives interrupted by each other in a big way.  Some of the Colonists and Indians chose to help and befriend each other, to come together each bringing their own strengths and helping the other overcome his weaknesses.  Other settlers warred with those they encountered, demanding their own way and fighting for what they wanted.

What will be your choice for the unexpected situations in your life?  Decide now, because you never know what is going to happen next.

Hugs and many thanks for the surrounding of your prayers.  It has been clearly evident to me that I am lifted up, and it makes all the difference.

Good News and Bad News

Well, I can't say that the last month has been boring.  It has, in fact, been filled with mostly really good news.


For instance, Justin made World Class for Infinity.  That was his goal and is the highest level in Indoor Percussion.  We are so happy for him.  Stay tuned for more news as the season starts in January.



We're also super excited about the Christmas 2019 tour that the Hagerty Band announced.  Rachel has been doing a stellar job learning the marimba part for the marching show.  As a Freshman, it is a real honor to already have the opportunity of playing this instrument.  She (and I) are adjusting well to this thing called high school.  (Ok, I'll admit it....you already know it was me that needed all the help adjusting, lol).


Steve got a great promotion and is already traveling and being challenged and recognized as a valuable member of his team.  The extra money is never a bad thing either :-).


The only bad thing (aside from the inconvenience of Steve getting his wallet stolen from the latest round of car break-ins in our neighborhood) has been my cancer diagnosis.  Even that has been riddled with great news and extremely evident of God's perfect placement of many previous events.  Long story short, I have been undergoing treatment and monitoring for anemia for almost the last three years.  It has been frustrating, because I am a puzzling case with borderline problems and unknown findings.  First, I had an iron deficiency, then abscesses and a fistula, and now in continuing to search for a cause have found colorectal cancer.  Fortunately, the doctor seems to think that it is a small and slow-growing tumor and very treatable.  It is possible that tomorrow's surgery will be the only inconvenience beside closer continued monitoring.  However, the final staging won't be for a couple of more weeks when lymph node involvement can be determined/ruled out.  Even then, chemotherapy is not supposed to be riddled with side effects and is likely time in a comfortable chair with an iv, something that I am used to and comfortable with because of my previous iron infusions.


Here are just some of the God Things I am noticing:


1.  My sister was a physician recruiter at her old job and recruited my surgeon.  He is top-notch.
2.  I have already had numerous procedures under anesthesia, including 4 in the last 16-17 months which required similar recovery periods.  Truthfully, I am anxious to see how hard this will hit me, and the not knowing is one of the most aggravating things to me right now.  Guess I get to learn some more patience and letting go.
3.  I already have been going to an oncologist (because he is also my hematologist) and am used to being poked and prodded and given infusions.
4.  I wasn't supposed to have a colonoscopy for at least another 2 1/2 years.  It was gentle nudging from two of my doctors and my speaking up to a third that allowed this to be found so early.
5.  I had an identical CT with contrast almost exactly 2 years ago which has allowed my doctors to have comparison data.
6.  My husband works at home and already is very involved with taking care of our family.
7.  My children are older and more capable of taking care of things like cooking and laundry.  Justin is in college now and home at 11 am Monday through Thursday and off on Friday.  This will help a lot when he is able to pick up his sisters or run to the store. 
8.  I have an incredibly loving and supportive network of family and friends which has already made this a lot less stressful and helped me to focus on the positive.
9.  Because of my many doctors' appointments especially with the hematologist/oncologist, I understand how much worse this could be and have also made friends and realize what an opportunity this is to spread the joy of the Lord.
10.  All of this is possible because of my faith in Jesus which was nurtured from a very early age.
11.  In high school, I helped with a student Bible study on the book of Job.  That is where I get much of my inspiration for his situation.
12.  Sadly, many others have gone before me in tragedy.  Many have been much less "lucky", yet their families continue to stay faithful.  They endured the loss but chose to lean in to God rather than isolate Him.  What a wonderful example.

Honestly, I'm scared and not scared.  I know who goes before me, but I also know that I want His will to be done and not my own.  I beg Him to say yes to me, just as Jesus asked the Father to spare him death on a cross.  But.....Your will be done.

I'm planning for my future, but I have learned to enjoy the moment.

Thanks for praying for me.

Jenny

P.S.  I am vulnerable in hopes that it might be an encouragement to someone someday.  Please share.

Not Ready

Hello again!

I've been meaning to write and even thought of lots of things to write about the other day.  The truth is, though, that The Vulnerable Mom is a blog about being brave.  It is about hurt and joy and experiencing life even when it feels like it might tear you apart.  So, I mostly feel compelled to write when I am struggling.

Today is one of those days.  I think I've pegged what is really bothering me.  It's a combination of my usual anxieties, letting go as my kids grow up and difficulty with transition.  I think that, quite frankly, as much as I thought I was, I wasn't ready for my daughter to go to high school.  

There is so much change in those four years, and having a son just finishing them and then going back is much like starting a new school year, teaching the same grade, and realizing that your class is composed of "babies" of that grade rather than "graduates".  It requires a change in expectation and is different because this time, you know where those babies are going to end up.  

Here's the exception, though.  Every kid is different.  My oldest is a boy;  my middle is a girl.  They have unique personalities and talents, even when approaching similar tasks.  They want and need different things at different times.  Kids don't come with an instruction manual.  You write it as you go along.  As with products, different, but comparable models are developed, and features are added and deleted as times change and techniques are proven effective or ineffective.  So goes life.  As soon as you think you've figured it all out, you're thrown a curveball.  Of course, what these really are are challenges and lessons, ways to help us grow.  Sometimes, I get tired of growing!!!

So, as much as I think my daughter is ready for high school, a part of me is grieving.  I know that in these four short years, she will (rightfully so) prepare to be an adult.  She will be busier and have social circles (and boyfriends - Ouch!  I think I just died a little, lol)  that quite frankly will be more important to her than we are.  That is natural.  I am glad for her.  I want that for her.  But it is really, really hard on my mama's heart.  I want more time.  

Thanks for listening.  I hope that my jumbled post actually describes what I was trying to say and that will help even one person struggling to know that they are not alone. 

Hugs!

Jenny 

Isaiah 64:8  ESV

"But now, O Lord, you are our Father;  we are the clay, and You are our potter;  we are all the work of Your hand."  

Father God,

Thank you for giving me the gift of writing.  Thank you for the people that I might bless and encourage BECAUSE I have had to struggle.  Help me to be brave and to continue Your works no matter how hard it seems.  Hold my mama's heart, and draw me closer to You as I learn to more closely resemble You who created me.  Give me confidence, and guide me in my next steps.  Thank you that I can hold on to this promise from Your Word.  "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

P.S.  Just writing this helped me finally express what has been deep inside for a while now.  I always tell myself to "give it two weeks, and everything will be fine".  School started August 10.  I took a job substitute teaching at the tail end of the first two weeks and then was sick and an emotional wreck (for practically no reason - ever feel that way?) the whole weekend, so rested that week before we watched my very active and awesome 7 and 8 year old nephews for 4 nights and 5 days starting that Saturday.  By then, it was almost labor day weekend, and I decided that with a four day week, next week (a full week) would be my do-over for that "give it two weeks" theory.  We'll see.  I might really need until Christmas.  

First Day of School

Friday was the first day of school.  Why Friday?  It's because the Florida legislature said that August 10 is the earliest day public schools are allowed to start, so this year it was a Friday.  Counties set their own calendars, so not everyone started on Friday;  many waited until at least Monday.  Everyone has to have 180 student attendance days, so start time, end time, and days off may vary, but all students have to go to school the same amount.  The Friday start was a bit confusing for sure, but it was awesome to get a weekend so fast!  The other advantage I found was that it took a lot of pressure off me to have everything perfectly ready since we would immediately have 2 days to take care of any other last-minute details.

Rachel started high school and found the first day "boring", but this week will definitely pick up, especially with band practice after school at least 2 days.

Hannah likes her new 5th grade teachers and loved her new position as "Officer" in the Safety Patrol.  She, and the other two officers get to raise and lower the flag each day and check in with various areas to see if anyone is absent and where fill-in is needed.

Justin doesn't start his classes until August 21, so he spent a good part of the day sleeping.  Steve said to let him enjoy it;  he has enough time to have to get up early and work for the rest of his life......

My niece started kindergarten and her sister started preschool.  My nephew starting kindergarten is in another county and starts Monday.  His brothers will be in school 5 days a week at two other schools starting soon.  Apparently, the tears are flowing freely.  We'll all get used to it in time, but the years go fast, so enjoy!

My Oviedo nephews started 2nd and 3rd grades, so I am excited to hear reports from them as well.

My older niece and nephew are still in high school, although my senior nephew plans to accelerate his graduation and get to working.  My other niece graduated two years before Justin and now is the proud mommy of a 6 month old boy.  I don't see these nieces and nephew as often, but by all reports are doing well.

What is your school calendar like?  What are the pros and cons for your family?  Comment below, and subscribe above to be alerted to the latest posts and comments from The Vulnerable Mom.

Matthew 25:34 (NIV)

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Blessings!
Jenny

Pinterest Picks: Back to School

This is a really useful "how-to" guide 
especially for older students.  Being able to 
easily retrieve and put away supplies will keep 
your child from missing valuable instructions 
while they dig in their backpack.   

I like this idea for both Mom 
(or Dad!) and a child that are 
used to being together all day 
and may experience some 
separation anxiety.

This is adorable!  It would take a lot of 
dedication to finish out the handprints on the 
back (a new twist from what I've seen before), 
but what a neat idea!  BTW, here's a shoutout 
to my nephew, Rowan, class of  2033!

Create a quiet reading nook in your home to 
provide both a quiet calming area and a place 
to encourage daily reading.  Pillows and 
bookshelves , seating, and tents all help to 
create a cozy escape that promote a 
lifelong love of reading.

Showing off your child's work is easy with this 
colorful display using frames and clothespins.

A child's drawings give clues to his 
or her developmental level.  The 
artwork does pile up after a while, 
though, and can get faded or torn. 
This idea allows multiple pieces 
to be saved and displayed at once.

This article explains how important 
self-control is in a classroom where 
the students outnumber the teacher 
many times over.  Kindergarten is 
different from preschool, it explains, 
and there are multiple strategies to 
help your child continue to develop 
this this very important skill.

     

I have to admit that I have WAY 

more stuff saved than could possibly 

fit in one box (please, don't laugh-

it is organized, although I need to catch up).  

This is a great idea, though, and nothing is 

saying that you can't have more than one box!

 

   

    

We don't all have a mudroom, but most of us 
can find a place to create a command center 
to better organize our homes.  Remember, it 
doesn't all have to be in one place.  A hook 
in the bedroom for the backpack still gets it 
off the floor and easy to find.  

An art cart/homework station gives you mobility and allows you to create multipurpose areas in your home.

I love the drawers featured in 
this post.  Being able to find the 
right tools during homework time 
will make your afternoons and 
evenings go much more smoothly!  

Don't forget your ABC's! 
We all could use a little caffeine
to jumpstart those hectic, early
mornings before school!

Mornings, ugh!  The worst part besides
homework of back to school.  Maybe some
of these ideas will help you get back in
the routine more quickly and easily!

A simple way to corral all of your
school supplies in one place and
use individual supplies as needed.

   

Getting Ready For Back to School - Are You Ready?

Getting Ready For Back to School

I know that many of you have a whole month left before school starts.  LUCKY!!  Here in Florida, the legislature decided that the school was allowed to start on August 10th each year, but not before.  So, guess when our county starts?  You guessed it, Friday, August 10, 2018.  At least it will be a short week! :-)

I have a love/hate relationship with back to school.  In reality, I love it, always have, always will.  I have a weird thing for office and school supplies.  I guess that's why I became an elementary school teacher.  I do like the structure.  I just hate the pressure and the extreme schedule.  I hate grades.

I quit working after I went back for a month after my first child and realized that I personally couldn't give 100% to both and wasn't happy with that.  It was a bit boring at first, but I guarantee that didn't last for long.  Still, I found ways to fulfill my teaching bug and have always kept up with what's going on in education, especially the county my husband and I and now my kids have grown up in. 

So, for those of you that don't think running around to store after store in search of door-busting back to school deals, here are some options that you can get delivered right to your home. 

Elmer's Disappearing Purple Washable Gluesticks - 12 ct.

Elmer's Washable Disappearing Purple School Glue, 6 Giant Sticks (1 pkg)

Elmer's 4 oz Liquid School Glue - 12 bottles

Elmer's 4 oz Liquid School Glue - 3 bottles

EXPO Black Dry Erase Markers, 8 Count Pack, Chisel Tip (Low-Odor)

Expo Low Odor Dry Erase Markers, Chisel Tip, Assorted Colors, 8 ct

EXPO Magnetic Dry Erase Markers with Eraser, Chisel Tip, Black, 4-Count

Crayola Ultra-Clean Washable Markers - 8 ct. 

Crayola 8ct Washable Tropical Colors Conical Tip

Crayola Crayons (24 Count), Crayola Colored Pencils in Assorted Colors (12 Count), Crayola (10ct) Classic Fine Line Markers, and Crayola (10ct) Classic Broad Line Markers Holiday Bundle

 

 

Crayola 8 ct. Crayons - Pack of 12

Crayola 16 ct. Classic Color Crayons - 2 pk
Crayola crayons (24 count) - 2 pack

Paper Mate InkJoy Gel Pens, Medium Point, Black, 4 Count


BIC BU3 Grip Retractable Ball Pen, Medium Point (1.0 mm), Assorted Colors, 18-Count
BIC Round Stic Xtra Life Ballpoint Pen, Medium Point (1.0mm), Blue, 60-Count
BIC Round Stic Xtra Life Ballpoint Pen, Medium Point (1.0mm), Red, 10-Count

Mead Loose Leaf Paper, Filler Paper, Wide Ruled, 200 Sheets, 10-1/2" x 8", 3 Hole Punched, 1 Pack

Five Star Loose Leaf Paper, 3 Hole Punched, Reinforced Filler Paper, Wide Ruled, 10-1/2" x 8", 100 Sheets/Pack

Five Star Loose Leaf Paper, 3 Hole Punched, Reinforced Filler Paper, College Ruled, 11" x 8-1/2", 100 Sheets/Pack, 4 Pack

Ticonderoga Wood-Cased My First Pencils, 2 HB Soft, Pre-Sharpened, With Eraser, Includes Bonus Sharpener, Yellow, 4 Count (33309)

Dixon Ticonderoga Wood-Cased #2 HB Pencils, Box of 96, Yellow

AmazonBasics Pre-sharpened Wood Cased #2 HB Pencils, 30 Pack

Pre-sharpened pencils, Pencils Sharpened with eraser top, #2 HB pencil, 144/box.

TOPS 1-Subject Notebooks, Spiral, 8" x 10-1/2", Wide Rule, Color Assortment May Vary, 70 Sheets, 3 Pack
Mead Spiral Notebooks, 1 Subject, College Ruled Paper, 70 Sheets, 10-1/2" x 7-1/2", Assorted Colors, 6 Pack
TOPS 1-Subject Notebooks, Spiral, 8" x 10-1/2", College Rule, Color Assortment May Vary, 70 Sheets, 6 Pack
Five Star Spiral Notebook, 1 Subject, Graph Ruled Paper, 100 Sheets, 11" x 8-1/2" (4 Pack Bundle, 13 Color Selected For You)
Emraw 5 Subject Notebook Spiral with 180 Sheets of College Ruled White Paper - Set Includes: Red, Black, Purple, & Blue Covers (Random 3 Pack)
Five Star Spiral Notebook, 3 Subject, College Ruled Paper, 150 Sheets, 11" x 8-1/2", Color Selected For You

My Mission

I often wonder what else I should be doing. Am I having any impact at all on the world around me? Today this popped into my head again, and I wrote it on my whiteboard as a reminder: You are exactly where God wants you to be. I need to be reassured of that fact, and I wrote it as if someone was saying it to me, but really, I am saying it to myself. I am full of negative self-talk and whispers of untruths from the Deceiver. So, today I will put truth at the forefront of my mind and choose to make my life a ministry right where I am, because I am right where God wants me to be. Blessings!

GRADUATION!!!

Ok, well, this was actually two 
five and a half  
nine weeks ago......

Graduation was AWESOME !!!

I am so proud of my son and all of his friends for graduating high school.  They persisted and not only succeeded but excelled.  I could never have predicted the journey Justin's high school years would take him on or the growth that happens in four short years.  It was so fun to celebrate these successes and was filled with more joy than tears.  Praise be to God!

I have to admit that the previous week's rain and rain before and after the ceremony really put a damper (pun intended) on things, especially getting pictures with friends.  It definitely made it memorable, though, and I was more than grateful to have remembered my umbrella.

...............MORE PICTURES COMING SOON...............

Now, my next "baby" is going to high school.  Rachel just finished middle school with a fun-filled 8th grade dance.  She looked gorgeous!

Rachel is going to continue with percussion, so she has already begun to bond with the members of that group.  This helps not only her transition but Mom and Dad's, too!  Still, it once again feels weird to be crossing this bridge with our child.

Hannah has finished 4th grade, I have one more year of elementary school left.  She is so excited to be an "Officer" next year on the Safety Patrol.  She will get to raise and lower the flag and fill in wherever she's needed.