And He knows your name.
And He's always the same.
No matter how life may change,
You can count on God.
This is the chorus of a song that I wrote in the heartache of watching, through Facebook and weekly church updates, the journey of an old friend. My friend is from when our church was small. We were part of the original youth group. His dad is still the pastor. I don't know him much now, but I have a daughter only a few months older than his. Except,
he and his wife lost their daughter. They discovered her brain tumor, shared with all of us, demonstrated incredible faith, and said goodbye all in ten short weeks. It was heartbreaking and amazing all at once. God used them.
But....I still cried. I'm still sad. I was scared.
One night when the pain was deep, in the throes of their journey, a song came to my heart. I never quite got the verses (or maybe I threw them away), but the chorus remains. It speaks truth, a truth I discovered in an earlier life valley. It is a truth I continue to hold on to.
I bring back these words because, since then, his brother, also a youth group buddy (my little sister's age) has died. This time it was by choice. I still grieve.
Yet, their family still shines as an example of faithfulness. Ironically, it was their mom that taught me about the book of Job in the Bible.
Today, I am sad because yet another youth group friend has died. I'm not even sure what happened or what had become of him in the last 20+ years. I do know that in high school, I saw Christ in him and looked up to him. He used the resources given to him to include people and was one of the few I called friend. After high school, I don't know if we would have been friends. I gather that my friend still did great things and loved people well. I am proud of that. I read that maybe he made choices I would have disagreed with, and I wish that he could have been the man of God that I dreamed him to be (maybe he was, I really don't know). I grieve for my friends that were closer with him than I, and I am saddened that we, as a society, seem to miss that the people who are most charismatic and giving to others are also hurting and in need of support.
Today, I mourn my youth and the loss of innocence.
So, right this moment, I continue to "count on God", because I have realized that He's truly all I have to count on. I've had great, giving, faithful people in my life and continue to do so.
But.....life changes.......
