Reset

"I never have any time...."

"I really could use a vacation..."

"I think we're doing too much...."

"I don't know how to say no....."

"There's never enough hours in a day....."

STOP. Pause. Rest. Reset.

"Restart the computer....."

"You'll have to wipe your phone....."

"It stopped us in our tracks and forced us to slow down."

"I wasn't expecting this....."

"Take 2..."

"Return to factory default....."

RESET

I've can't believe that I haven't published a post since May 2.  It's been hard, though, to speak in a world that is so united and divided all at the same time.  In reality, most people have the same goals and desires.  They have the same fears and frustrations.  They are affected more or less personally and responding in kind.  But, instead of listening to the "other side", there seems to be a mentality that it's "all or nothing" with certain subjects.  And that's not okay.  

Everyone has differences.  It's what makes the world work.  I have had experiences and am in situations that you are not (and vice-versa).  What works for me or is within my current scope of understanding may or may not be like anything you have ever seen.  Can we share information with each other?  Sure, but we must also listen to each other.  It gives us a broader perspective to apply to all future encounters.  And if we can't - REST, stay silent, step away, and only then - RESET.

I'm terribly frustrated with the uncertainty of the near future.  It's truly driving me crazy.  I can't stand the inconsistency and the pettyness.  It's not an easy time - for ANYONE.  So, if you get frustrated or just plain "lose it", you're not alone.  Me, too.  

Everyone Has A Different Story.....Coping With The Coronavirus Pandemic

WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME BOAT ...

I heard that we are all in the same boat, but it's not like that. We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat. Your ship could be shipwrecked and mine might not be. Or vice versa.

For some, quarantine is optimal. A moment of reflection, of re-connection, easy in flip flops, with a cocktail or coffee. For others, this is a desperate financial & family crisis.

For some that live alone they're facing endless loneliness. While for others it is peace, rest & time with their mother, father, sons & daughters.

With the $600 weekly increase in unemployment some are bringing in more money to their households than they were working. Others are working more hours for less money due to pay cuts or loss in sales.

Some families of 4 just received $3400 from the stimulus while other families of 4 saw $0.

Some were concerned about getting a certain candy for Easter while others were concerned if there would be enough bread, milk and eggs for the weekend.

Some want to go back to work because they don't qualify for unemployment and are running out of money. Others want to kill those who break the quarantine.

Some are home spending 2-3 hours/day helping their child with online schooling while others are spending 2-3 hours/day to educate their children on top of a 10-12 hour workday.

Some have experienced the near death of the virus, some have already lost someone from it and some are not sure if their loved ones are going to make it. Others don't believe this is a big deal.

Some have faith in God and expect miracles during this 2020. Others say the worst is yet to come.

So, friends, we are not in the same boat. We are going through a time when our perceptions and needs are completely different.

Each of us will emerge, in our own way, from this storm. It is very important to see beyond what is seen at first glance. Not just looking, actually seeing.

We are all on different ships during this storm experiencing a very different journey.

Unknown author

There is a poem circulating on social media explaining that "we're all in the same storm, but we're not all in the same boat".  That's a pretty good metaphor for all of life really.  In my house, we are lucky to have health, no missing of monumental milestones (like graduation), and a job where we already had Dad at home all the time.  So, yes, we are grateful for that and recognize our blessings.  But, we have had disappointments and life interruptions - an indoor percussion season that got suddenly cut short for my oldest two, resulting in the loss of time with friends, competition, and two road trips;  friends being kept inside instead of hanging out with my youngest;  a school day that is entirely online instead of cooking in Culinary, teaching lessons in a real life preschool, learning new percussion techniques, performing concerts, auditioning for the fall marching season, and giving performances in theater and Junior Thespians; the first summer performing and traveling with friends that share and understand your passion for music and spur you on to greater things - all ripped away.

Your story is different, but you too have things that are unexpected blessings and things that you've lost.  It's a surreal time that feels like a sweet dream or nightmare at any given moment.  It's made harder, because it has become increasingly polarized, yet is still confusing and unknown.  We all have lots of theories, but really, we just have a lot of questions.  That uncertainty is frustrating.

So, we take it day by day, and hope for the best.  But, I get anxious as talk of change takes place with no definitive plan or timeline.  I wish for my children to have normalcy, because this next school year will only come once for them.  Rachel will only have one junior year of high school;  Hannah will only be in 7th grade once.  Plans for marching season start before this school year even ends.  Will band camp happen?  Will there be anything to do over the summer?  Time will soon tell, but I've got to tell you, I'm tired of the uncertainty.  I love having my kids home all the time, but I hate that they are being robbed of things that are important to them.  I miss having other kids over and seeing my kids perform.  The lack of "schedule stress" is great, but it comes at a price.  That's part of my story.

What is your story?  My friend coined the term, "Covid-Joy", and shares her covid-joys with us on Facebook and Instagram.  That friend is one of the most positive people I know, and her choice to share her joy is a ministry that blesses thousands. 

So, what is your covid-joy?  One of mine was having my son really tune in to me when I was having an especially tough weekend, frustrated with the constant negativity of news.  He sent me John Krasinski's "Some Good News" broadcast, and it made my day.  John decided to continue his broadcast and even has thrown a virtual prom.  You can check out his YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOe_y6KKvS3PdIfb9q9pGug

And, it's okay to be frustrated, angry even.  It doesn't mean that you don't care about people or all the families that have lost loved ones.  I think it almost means the opposite, that we were made for relationships.

Happy Easter!

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, MaryMagdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.

and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?"

They found the stone rolled away from the tomb,




but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.

There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it.

His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow.

The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead?

The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified.He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.

Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples.

At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

He asked her, "Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?" Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."

Jesus said to her, "Mary." She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, "Rabboni!" (which means "Teacher").

Matthew 28:1-10, Mark 16:1-8, Luke 24:1-12, John 20:1-9

He's Alive Coloring Book

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and Change

One of the most difficult things for someone with sensory issues is change.  The reason for that lies in the fact that familiarity is safe.  The goal of our neurological system is to keep our bodies in a place where we feel “just right”. Jean Ayres, an occupational therapist, first coins this phrase, claiming that the best therapy will be somewhere between too easy and too difficult.  At home, a "sensory diet" is prescribed, suggesting activities that will challenge without overwhelming.   

To accomplish this "just right", we (all of us) are constantly making adjustments to our environment.  We might avoid spicy foods or back away from a hot stove.  We might crave something salty or sweet or cover our ears when it is too noisy.  Shifting our weight to balance or holding our pencil a certain way all help us to maintain consistency in our body. 

When faced with an unknown, we have to process all kinds of new information.  For many people, this is relatively easy, but for others, the wealth of new input is overwhelming.  In familiar situations, a person with sensory processing disorder (and all of us on some level) has developed coping mechanisms over time.  They know where the quiet places are, what foods they will want to eat (or to eat ahead of time or bring a snack), what clothes are most comfortable, who will hug them or give them space, how long they are expected to sit in a chair and how much energy will be required to complete tasks.  They can plan and also relax as tasks become easier with practice.

Transitions mess all of that up.  For a person with sensory processing problems that has gotten to a comfortable, "just right" place, a change is like an alarm clock going off when you are fast asleep.  It is jarring, jolts you, and puts you into a panic.  That panicky feeling is your body's protection system, the very basis of your survival.  We know it as "fight or flight".  

Pretend that instead of a blaring alarm clock, you were given cues to tell your body to slowly wake up.  Maybe the curtains are slightly opened or soft music is playing.  Perhaps, someone is whispering your name and then speaking louder in regular intervals.  It would hopefully help to eliminate the shock of sleep suddenly interrupted.  Transitional cues and routines help those with SPD in the same way.  

If surviving in daily life is hard without routine, warnings, and predictability, imagine how difficult changes in that routine are.  School starts for the year while summer stops and vice versa.  Daylight Savings Time begins or ends.  It is a holiday or special event.  Favorite places are closed or menus change.  Eventually, all of these changes and transitions become the "new normal", but in the meantime, and to varying degrees those with sensory processing issues suffer.  They no longer feel "just right".

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) affects people with lots of different diagnoses, particularly those on the autism spectrum.  However, it can also occur all by itself.  It is almost harder that way.  It is invisible to others except for the resulting "behaviors" that they can see.  And that often results in judgments of "weird", "odd", "brat", "problem child/student", "distant", etc....Yes, the behaviors are difficult and probably need intervention, but they are not defiance.  Watch, observe, and see what you see.  You might find you are now looking with a different lens.