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| Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. I miss my friend. Mary was one of the “originals” in our neighborhood. We were phase 2 in a new subdivision, a couple of years into marriage and welcoming a son within the year. Mary was newly divorced and had two young daughters, Chrissy and Brittany. Brittany was only 4 or 5, and Chrissy was about 9 or so. We watched all of the school age kids gather at the bus stop at the corner and later joined in with our kids, one by one. |
Mary worked hard, really hard. She took pride in living within her means and turning random pieces and “trash” into treasure. We shared a love of creativity and craft stores, and later on, when she went to work for our county school system, would exchange tales.
Mostly, Mary was our outside neighbor. We’d strike up a conversation at the mailbox at the end of my driveway or while out doing yard work. We shared a next door neighbor and watched as families moved in and out of the neighborhood over the years. We have the same model house except flipped. Mary would often call on Steve for help with something or to ask his opinion. She was invested in taking care of her property and always tried to follow the HOA covenants even when others didn’t. You wanted to be on her good side, and fortunately, we were.
Not many “originals” remain. 23 years have passed as our family has grown from just Steve and me to include 3 children and numerous pets. Mary’s daughters are grown but never far, and they have been the light of her life.
When I was diagnosed with colon cancer four years ago, Mary told me about her own battle beating stage 4 colon cancer 10 years (give or take) prior. Our shared neighbors had moved in 2017 after living there the longest of anyone and being a second family, especially to our youngest. Mary was a mentor as I navigated the transition of almost grown and adult children. She loved taking care of her yard and always had the nicest, well-kept landscaping. And she decorated for all the holidays. We loved Miss Mary.
In June of 2021, Mary was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer which had metastasized to her liver. She never talked about it being a death sentence but instead determined to do everything she could to live the longest she could for her girls. Brittany was newly married and had bought a house with her husband, and Chrissy was in a secure relationship. Chemotherapy was rough on Mary, but she endured, and was able to have some in-between time where she was actually able to get out some and “be normal”. When Chrissy got engaged, it became her goal to make it to the wedding. She hosted the bridal shower, helped pick the venue, and created flowers and centerpieces for decorations. It was like she was coming alive again.
Alas, her numbers began to rise and chemo became necessary again. She didn’t tolerate it as well this time and became weaker and weaker. I cried when she asked me to witness the signing of her will, and SHE comforted ME. She prepared, but didn’t act as if that’s what she was doing, at least not to me. I was so thankful to have our normal “Miss Mary”.
I didn’t see much of Mary as she got weaker and it got hotter, but I hoped she might be outside again soon. I didn’t see her as her body started to shut down, but her daughter had moved in and told me a few weeks ago that she was doing ok and over at her sister’s house.
Mary passed away at home at 1 a.m. this past Monday morning, almost 48 hours after her sister called us to say that it might only be another couple of hours. So, we got to say goodbye. And I truly believe that she was trying to communicate with us, both verbally and with head nods and a hand squeeze. I am thankful for that and promised her to watch over her girls and house.
The best part of this story is that Mary insisted that her daughter get her longed-for October wedding, and was able to enjoy and participate in it, even walking Chrissy down the aisle, only the week before. Chrissy had her wedding on a beautiful Sunday, days after a hurricane, and Mary was proudly showing one of our other original neighbors pictures on her phone on Monday. Only then would she allow her body to shut down. We praise God for that timing, that Mary and her daughter could have that wedding. I told her I was going to be looking at those pictures, and I’m pretty sure that she understood.
I’m in shock. I miss her so much.
